Why am I add part 1 on the title? because I know it's going to be several episodes until I finally find it.
Anyway for the past weeks I've been trying to indulge myself doing what I thought was my passion.
I wrote a few short stories (okay, it was only two)
I finally learned to do a watercolor painting (I manage only doing 1 draw, ad not the kind of drawing I wanted. It suppose to be a tutorial and I was planning to do the real drawing..still planning)
I tried to focus on my 'real' architecture project. Knowing that this is one of my dreams. But failed to maintain the enthusiasm.
I went to a craft store to find something that might attract me, that make me feel..'OOoh..this is what I always wanted to do'. Got a few inspirations and ideas. But nope, didn't feel any of those.
Studying about doing my own business, reading books, and learning from other people success stories only to find out I might not the kind of person who will fit this kind of job.
Practicing some recipes and I noticed that while I love doing this for my family, it's not what I want to do as a career, simply because I'm not that good.
What is wrong with me?
Why is it so hard to find my passion?
Why am I so moody?
Are those things really my passion but I'm just to moody to realize it?
Or I my negative thoughts blocks all me real passion?
Or I just simply haven't found it yet?
So, yeah.
Still trying.
I used to love drawings..From elementary through high school, I love to draw, even though mostly the kind of drawings found in Japanese comic. I used to draw my own comic using notebook (nope, not the laptop, but the book you use to write when you're in school, the one with lines and everything). I had my original comic in 1 huge suitcase, but yes, like my dreams to be a comic book writer, they all disappeared.
There's a reason why I stopped drawing since 3rd grade of High School, and that is why I took architecture, since there's a drawing element in the study which later I found is NOT THE SAME AT ALL.
Anyway, Now I'm trying to draw again.
And because I never draw since ages, I took it hard to start. But I'll keep trying :-)
But but my taste change a bit, I don't really like Japanese comic style anymore but more like these:
This is one of my favorite inspiration, aren't they lovely?
by Sophie Allsop
by Ines Huni
by Jo Brown
Bagi yang mencari gaun pernikahan muslimah di hari pernikahannya.. untuk wanita muslimah yang mengenakan jilbab, dirancang khusus oleh desainer Jenny Tjahyawati.
Pls find it here.
:-)
My bro and his beautiful wife :-)
Contrary to what people believe, I actually not really good communicating with other people. Communicate means chit chat, or in Indonesian; basa basi.
It's not really a big a deal when I were still in school, since most people I communicate with are my friends, people at my age, or the teacher, and we don't do much of basa basi, don't we? we could be ourselves without any judgement (well, at least in my school).
And it's not a problem when I was working abroad, especially in Singapore, since everything is to the point and we're pushed to work as efficient as we could be. Therefore chitchat is not necessary (plus, I hangout mostly with fellow Indonesian). That is one of the reason why I don't want to be an architect. I hate networking and I'm very comfortable being in a situation where I don't know anyone and meeting people older than me for the sake of networking.
Most of my friends probably don't believe that. But I actually find it hard to be my self in social events. In front of a new person. I couldn't be my self, my chatty comic face self in front of them. They will think I'm.... weird..
That is why I enjoyed working freelance, I don't have to meet the client. Work comes through email and I just have to do it at home.
Until now.
I have an opportunity to work on a real project. (Real means I'm the architect and the client is going to actually build it).
I'm going to meet this client.(Thankfully he's a friend of my parents so my mom is accompanying me).
And I realize, in this field chit chat is very important. We can't just impress the client by our works and our knowledge ( I did this already). But we have to create some kind of chemistry with the client, to create a good relationship (okay I started to sound like giving dating advices).
Anyway you know what i mean right?
So because of my lack ability to chit chat, I don't think the client is very keen :(
Since I talk mostly technical stuff. I must've sounded very boring.
Suddenly I remember my hubby, since unlike me, he's veeeryy good with people.
I could've learn from him.
*hiks*
My friend from KL is planning a trip to Bandung next weekend (long weekend) ans she asked me to find a cheap accommodation or a guest house with budget around idr 100000-idr400000/ room.
So I googled, and find some links that matched her preferences (she wanted cheap clean, near to city center and accessible with angkot).
Here's some info I found (i'll list it here, who knows I might need it one day)
http://www.patra-jasa.com/bandung/index.html
http://buminanienie.multiply.com/
http://www.sith.itb.ac.id/conference/page/hotels
http://www.dagoguesthouse.com/
http://obcguesthouse.com/
http://cigadunginn.wordpress.com
http://www.totaltravel.info/hotel_Bandung_rates.php
well actually there's more, but I'm not familiar with the area.
To my surprise, they are all full booked!
I never knew that Bandung have a lot of budget accommodation and it's actually sells!
Especially if they have website. And currently tourist come to Bandung are not only from Jakarta but also from other area as well, other country even. It's a promising business.
So....since currently I'm designing my parents student hostel, I'm was thinking to add a guest house too, since the location is very prominent (dago asri)..hmm...
interesting...*daydreaming*
One of my biggest dream is to follow my husband to Europe.
Yes, note that.
To follow.
Some might say that I'm to lazy to have a dream of my own.
Or I took the easy way to let others took the responsibility to make that dream come true. In this case, my husband.
My friend said today that the sign of great man is their dreams is big enough to contribute something to create a better place to this world.
And I bet to follow is not one of them
But for me, it's called compromise.
Think about it. It's the only way for my dreams to come true, without have to sacrifice my family. I could choose to find, for example scholarship to pursue Master degree to Europe like some of my friends did, but what about my husband? I couldn't ask him to follow me around and sacrifice his job. And I can't bear to life apart from my husband that long. Besides, the point is to be able to share the experience with him.
In the other hand, I'm willing to follow him whenever he goes. And currently I'm on my path to work freelance so I'll have the flexibility to work anywhere I chose. And my husband is willing to find a way to make my dreams come true.
I'll say this is a win-win solution.
What do you think?
On my way back to Jakarta from Pekanbaru, I had a strange feeling. An uncomfortable feeling yet very familiar. And then I remember I had the same feeling every time I got on the bus to go back to Singapore from KL, or when I took my husband to a bus stop in Redhill so he could take a train to JB.
It's the feeling I had when I have to face separation.
In this case apart from my husband. And I hated it.
The difference is, when we were still in Sg-KL, after one week we'll manage to get over this feeling and meet each other.
Now, I have to wait for approx 1.5 month to be able to fly to Pekanbaru and meet him
:((((
Oh I forgot how hard it is...
Here I am in my home town, staying in a hotel for almost a week now.
I thought it'll be a good place for me to do some contemplation. To work on my projects. The things that I always postponed because I got distracted at home.
I thought by staying in a hotel I won't have any distraction at all, therefore I could be more focus. If I'm hungry or have to do laundry, just pick up the phone and everything swill be take care of.
Wrong.
There's another obstacle that I have to face.
Getting out of comfort zone.
Literally.
Everything is soo comfortable I feel like reading a novel than working. or watching TV, or taking a nap. I always thought that discipline has been my weakness. I often set target but fail to fulfilled them, or I fulfilled them but took longer than I planned.
Working freelance or having your own projects means you're your own boss. There's no external motivation such as afraid that the you'll scolded by the boss or have to meet deadline otherwise the client won't be satisfied. Now I have to follow deadline based on my own interest. Basically because I have to make the most of my time.
Ok, back to work.
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO,
DO IT NOW, FOR LIFE IS TIME
AND TIME IS ALL THERE IS
I really-really need to start.
I met my childhood friend today. She's my friend since elementary but I haven't met her for 4 years. I wonder If she have changed.
To my surprise, she didn't change a bit, and we talked for 2 hours non stop until my throat soar :D
We talked about everything. About live updates, our friends, and about ourselves. She told me that she work freelance since she hates working in the office also so she could concentrate on her writing. She told me live isn't not about working, it's about doing what you love, what you're passionate about, and I admire her for that. To be honest I always thought that she'll end up as a writer, she's been writing since I know her, and I always thought that she's so talented.
I always admire a person who have a clear path in their live, a clear passion and willing to pursue those passion no matter what.
For my self, I even don't what is my passion about. I know one of my strongest dream is to go to Europe, traveling across Europe with my husband. I have a clear image on how's is going to be like. But that's not a passion, it's more like a goal in life.
I asked her, since she knows me from I was little. What kind of person (professionally) she'd picture me be to become, and what is my passion she'd expect?
She told me that, it's related to art, I'm always good at drawing and anything related to art.
I remember that I took dancing lessons since I was in kindergarten and I always get a part in any performance. I like to draw and my friend told me that my drawings were great. I even sell my drawings (for Rp 100 I remember! xD) to my friends in elementary. In High school I create handmade Valentine cards and sell them to my friends, I got loads of order until I was overwhelmed.
All those things suppose to be clear enough for me to know my path. But my weakness is I'm so moody, and interested to so many things which makes me unfocused. I once curious how is if feel to be a model, or a stewardess, I tried them all, only to find out that it didn't fit me. I worked in Singapore because I was curious how is it like to live and work abroad by myself. I work as an architect since I was curious on whether I have the talent or not.
Maybe for the time being all I have to do is to maintain my curiosity upon things. Not afraid to do something new. To challenge myself. Who knows in the process I might find what my truly passion is.
Hopefully.
Tiba-tiba inget apartemen kami di Malaysia waktu tinggal di KL beberapa bulan yang lalu. Itu rumah pertama kami sejak sebelumnya pisah jauh-jauhan Singapore-KL.
Jadi inget dalam rangka menyambut saya yang sebentar lagi akan pindah ke KL, suami bersih-bersih apartemen yang sebelumnya ditinggali 3 orang lelaki bujangan itu.
Dimulai dari beli mesin cuci supaya saya ga cape cuci baju manual (ah, suamiku benar-benar pengertian), sampe nyikat dinding rumah. Iya nyiket! karena untuk ngecat dinding dirasa terlalu boros (toh, ga akan lama disitu) maka suami berinisiatif menyikat dinding-dinding rumah sehingga kembali kinclong.
Jadi pas saya akhirnya tiba di rumah itu, rumahnya buersiiihhh...dan rapiii...
semua dilakukan suami saya tercinta seorang diri.
*hiks, jadi kangen suami :((
Beberapa waktu lalu saya dan suami mudik ke Surabaya.
Ada satu pesan yang selalu suami ingetin ke saya tiap kali pulang mudik yaitu; bangun pagi, bantu ibu, dan jangan tidur abis sholat subuh (ehh jadi ketauan deh kalo kadang2 suka tidur lagi :"D)
Tapi pas kami kesana, ternyata pembantu ibu 2-2nya sudah berhenti kerja karena mu nikah. Jadi saya berusaha agar bisa membantu ibu meringankan pekerjaan rumah tangga.
Hari pertama saya sukses bangun jam 5 dan jam 6 udah turun ke dapur (di Surabaya jam stengah 6 juga udah terang benderang lhooo)
Pertama-tama, disuruh goreng tahun dan tempe.
Ah gampaang, ini mah hari2 juga bisa (jadi inget 3 taun lalu disuruh goreng tempe masih ga bisa, hihi). Trus bikin perkedel jagung, ngulek jagung, trus ngulek sambel, trus ngulek bumbu, semua pake ngulek2..duh mulai cape ya..apalagi saya jarang banget masak-masak, belum lagi berdiri rasanya lama banget, pas diliat kami masak (masaknya ber 3, saya, ibu dan nenek) hampir 3 jam!
Ya ampunn..
Pantes rasanya cape banget.
Yang bikin saya takjub, acara masak-masak dan ngulek2 ini sudah dilakukan nenek dan ibu dari dulu, belum lagi abis ini ibu mesti jaga di toko sampai sore, saya yang cuma bantu-bantu aja langsung tepar, padahal habis itu saya bisa leyeh-leyeh sampe sore.
MORAL OF THE STORY
nanti insyaAllah kalo udah punya rumah sendiri, must have itemnya adalah food processor/blender. Jadi kalo mu nyambel, ngulek bumbu, bikin perkedel, gampang deh! :D
*hmm rasanya moral of the storynya salah ya...
hihi :D
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