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Sabtu, April 24, 2010

Full time housewife


I watched sex and city season 4 last night, in that episode Charlotte decided to quit her job to have a baby and be a full time housewife, and also to pursuit her other interest.

But somehow she needs to be assured to stand by her decision.

I can really relate to that. Sometimes based on other people judgment, being a housewife sounds less valuable than being a professional. As if it doesn't define you, As if you're overshadowed by your husband. As if pursuit other interest such as cooking, or painting is just hobbies, not a real 'job'.

Are those really other people judgment?
Or those are my own judgment?

I remember I heard my self saying I work freelance at home and the projects are from KL when someone asked me what do I do now.
It's like I know they will give me this pity look from them if I answered I quit my job from KL to follow my husband move to Indonesia and to be a fulltime housewife.

I know I'm blessed since I AM working from home and I AM a freelance architect currently but I always feel in some point I had to give those things up.
Architecture is not really my passion and I'm willing to spend time to find out what my real passion is.

I always wanted to learn how to bake, and sew so I could make own children clothes, or learn how to paint. And writing, I want to start writing again.

But somehow I'm still afraid to start. Afraid since it'll cost money, afraid if I got bored, afraid if I don't have the talent.
But mostly I'm afraid of other people judgment when I don't have my architect label to make me feel secure.

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