Why am I add part 1 on the title? because I know it's going to be several episodes until I finally find it.

Anyway for the past weeks I've been trying to indulge myself doing what I thought was my passion.

I wrote a few short stories (okay, it was only two)
I finally learned to do a watercolor painting (I manage only doing 1 draw, ad not the kind of drawing I wanted. It suppose to be a tutorial and I was planning to do the real drawing..still planning)
I tried to focus on my 'real' architecture project. Knowing that this is one of my dreams. But failed to maintain the enthusiasm.
I went to a craft store to find something that might attract me, that make me feel..'OOoh..this is what I always wanted to do'. Got a few inspirations and ideas. But nope, didn't feel any of those.
Studying about doing my own business, reading books, and learning from other people success stories only to find out I might not the kind of person who will fit this kind of job.
Practicing some recipes and I noticed that while I love doing this for my family, it's not what I want to do as a career, simply because I'm not that good.

What is wrong with me?
Why is it so hard to find my passion?
Why am I so moody?
Are those things really my passion but I'm just to moody to realize it?
Or I my negative thoughts blocks all me real passion?
Or I just simply haven't found it yet?

So, yeah.

Still trying.